Masterpiece...

[Jer2911]

So I'm still doing pretty well... I seem to be levelling off a bit... have had a few down moments, but nothing as far down as some of my low moments last week... And have been able to get back to more of a PMA for the most part every day since my last update.

Had another interesting spiritual moment this morning... I'm still trying to meditate and haven't felt very successful at it. This morning, as I started, I tried something new and thought of the first word that came to mind about why I am trying to meditate: Peace. I want to feel peaceful regardless of the chaos around me... So I started repeating the word "peace" in my head and for the first time I started to feel myself slipping into a deeper state of relaxation. It was GREAT!... But it gets better...

My morning meditation/prayer routine is something like this:

Meditate (10 -12 minutes, slowly trying to eventually get up to 30 minutes)
Read page from my Jesus Calling daily devotional
Say morning prayers

So today, when I finished meditating -- which was 15 minutes today (yay!) -- I picked up the devotional and the very first words on the page for today's reading were "Peace be with you!" I got chills when I read it and as I continued reading... truly amazing... At this point in my process I am feeling very connected to God in a way that I have never felt in my entire adult life. So yeah, I stopped reading, looked up and said "Okay -- I hear you!" It was just such a clear message to me that He is with me through all of this. Truly amazing moment.

W is still being somewhat nice this week... Not sure why... OW is still in the picture, but W does seem to be sleeping more at night, so maybe their communication is slowing down a bit? Not sure -- but fairly certain that neither one has called an end to the A... Maybe W is just feeling more comfortable around me now that she's been a teeny tiny bit honest about OW, the A, and the trip? Who knows...

I am feeling a bit more successful with my parenting... Feeling less stressed out and better able to give the kids more stability, routine, and love in most moments... not perfect, but doing better than I was.

That's all for now...

Hope you all have a good weekend!