The Owl and the Pussycat

[Meredith]

YES!!! Validation doesn't always mean agreeance. All you're validating are his feelings on the matter. Yes, you can see why he would want the car, yes you understand his desire, etc...not necessarily giving him everything he wants! It is NOT saying "you stupid F, have you even looked at our finances lately? how can you be thinking of buying this hunk of twisted metal?".

I find this most difficult when STing discusses his work gripes. His grips, from a manager perspective, are terribly inane. I want to choke him! So instead of agreeing on his actions (which, for the record, I rarely agree with when it comes to his work ethic) I express my understanding of his feelings. Such as, "I can see how getting to work would be difficult for you" instead of "Yeah? Well they pay you to be there at 6am so yes...you do have to be there at 6am! And you think it is tough for you? Try getting a toddler ready on top of all that! Quit whining..." which is likely what I would have said in the past.

All a learning process!