ahhh, gotcha. I wish you wouldn't have responded to her very first text, but that's behind us now. I am confused, however, as you said she'd gone silent today and now you're saying she texted you asking to chat today?
With that as the backdrop then, I WOULD respond to her last text, with a "I wish I could believe that; I'm afraid it's not that simple anymore."
And then go PITCH BLACK until tomorrow morning, including staying out all night tonite.
She confirmed it had started out as an EA when we were both burning the candle at both ends during our academic programs, but it has now progressed to a PA.
But she did not promise to end the A. And we left it at that for the night. I checked her phone this morning and she'd definitely been texting with OM after I was asleep, though she'd clearly erased the bulk of the messages.
Today I was friendly, got her a coffee, talked a bit about work and then left. Tonight I'm going to head out for a run and then maybe meet up with some friends for a beer later.
I also am more than a little surprised by this. A couple of pages ago you thought she was only in an EA and wouldn't leave you because he lived so far away. Now she drops the PA bomb and you get her coffee?????!!!!
She's sleeping with another man.
And you get her coffee.
I'd have packed her chit.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Do I encourage this? Or do I tell her that I don't trust her? Demand proof? I'm at a loss.
The "demanding proof" part will come later, IF and WHEN she is sincere (which I doubt she is, btw, but I could be wrong ... if she is, waiting won't hurt anything, and if she isn't, waiting is absolutely the way to go). At that point, you can lay out what no-contact letter and full transparency plan look like. For now, this is a woman who has cheated on you and LIED ABOUT IT for 2-3 years, including going to be with her OM to have sex with him when she knew that YOU knew she was going to at least see a man with whom she admitted she had an AE with. She's trying to take your temperature, and frankly she doesn't deserve any answers from you right now. It's not your job to make her feel better about bombing you last nite, and cheating on you for 2-3 years.
