wife during deployment EA/PA Part 3

[Train]

Don't get too bogged down in the small stuff, Rysin. Live and learn, but also don't use that as an excuse to KEEP slipping.

Even though I just said all that, though, I'm gonna bog myself down in a couple of details in the hopes it helps us note how a small difference in communication - or even the way a sentence is worded - could make a larger impact:

Here's what I pitched, if you chose to respond at all:
"Hey! Just noticed you called. Let me know if you need me."

Here's what you wrote:
"noticed I missed your call, do you need anything?"

It may seem I'm splitting hairs on semantics, here, but I promise I'm not trying to do that. Can you see the difference in those two approaches up there? It's small but noticeable. And it's even something I "warned against" in my post; in the very next sentence after I pitched what you could respond with:

That way, you're acknowledging her attempt at contact but doing it in a way that is detached (you're not calling her OR asking her an open-ended question that may appear as though you are trying to engage her in conversation. It's amazing what the WAS looks at as "pressure."

You ended with an open-ended question. If you had ended it with a statement instead, it wouldn't have seemed to her that you were there at her beck and call. You were ending like, "Hey, just holla back if you need anything." Instead of, "Do you need me?????"

See what I mean?

Again, don't bog yourself down in the small stuff. Just learn and move on so that a bunch of little things don't end up adding up.