Also you can swing by the nearest Barnes & Noble tonigh to look for DR in the self-improvement/relationship section. Then you can park your cute butt in the seating area and read through the book.
Ugh. This detachment is hard. Think she's testing me, because she has not attempted to contact me at all today. I have kept radio silence, too, but I'm alternately so angry and so sad that I constantly feel like I'm going to barf.
She *is* testing you. As she's been all along with this other relationship. Last nite was your first step in beginning to re-balance the power equilibrium, Kieran -- be patient. This is going to take awhile, and a LOT of work.
If she does try to call you or text you, do NOT answer or respond right away. Wait a couple of hours, or -- better -- come here first and let us know what kind of message she sent you.
She's either trying to make you sweat (as BACKWARDS as that sounds!) or she's texting and calling OM like crazy to try to get their stories straight. Either way, while you may need soothing you do NOT go to your wayward wife for that!!! . . . right?
I don't know if the others agree or not, but I see no problem if you want to leave her standing there and say you are going out. Then turn off your phone and go get a room for the night. Either that, or tell her to get out. (Don't worry, I don't mean permanently, but she doesn't have to know it.)
She needs the mess shocked out of her. I'm serious. The fastest turn-arounds I have seen has been when the H would not even try to discuss anything with her and got the heck out of Dodge. It would cause the WW to forget about OM and all that was on her mind was getting her H back at any cost. She suddenly finds herself as the WAS. I really believe men lose a precious window of time by "talking". She is not prepared, yet, to hear any of it.
This is not the usual advice given by DBers, it's just my own. I guarantee you it would have yanked my tail around fast if my LBH had done that very thing.
I for one, could not agree more.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
