Oh, Myrrh.... I read this with great trepidation. Meredith is much more qualified than I am to help you on this score. Mr. W. and I are both squeaky with money.
But there is one thing I want to say, and it's something I have to remind myself and I'm pretty sure Mer and I have had this discussion too.
HE got himself (and you, indirectly) into this pickle. Let HIM figure out how to get you out of it. The PA person depends <HEAVILY> on the resourcefulness of others to clear them of any wrongdoing.
So don't let him.
Believe me, it sucks. I'm saying this as I watch Mr. W. not deal with the foundation tournament in a kickass fashion and cringe at the thought of giving him control over things. (And he's got a good chance of losing money for us now that he's behind the 8-ball.)
But think back: how often did you (and all of us) learn if we didn't have our feet held to the fire? He's going to have to learn how to assume responsibility for his bad choices, and you're going to have to learn how to NOT take it for things that aren't yours.
My advice would be to sit him down (calmly), pull out all the finances and checkbook register and ask for a plan on how he's going to meet the financial obligations you have as a family while buying the toys.
Then button your lip--because the next person who speaks owns it. And sit there in complete silence until he speaks, even if it takes an hour.
It's not going to change the past, but you can force this horse to the trough AND make him take a drink if he realizes that you aren't going to resolve things for him.
Make sense?
Tough love is tough--and it sucks.
Hugs,
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
