How do you guys feel about friends that might have been complicit when the a started?
Yes someone's who have been close to me. Would you pull back from said person? Or persons?
Yes, it could be innocent, but I doubt it. Given some things that have been said, I think person knows far more than they are letting on. Stuff that I have never said, directly about my r, but it was h script.
Pretty much I have a very bad feeling, just unease, with no concrete proof.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
How do you guys feel about friends that might have been complicit when the a started?
Yes someone's who have been close to me. Would you pull back from said person? Or persons?
Yes, it could be innocent, but I doubt it. Given some things that have been said, I think person knows far more than they are letting on. Stuff that I have never said, directly about my r, but it was h script.
Pretty much I have a very bad feeling, just unease, with no concrete proof.
That depends Gg.
I am not sure if I would say anything as a friend as I am unsure it may not be my place, however if it was public display then I might suggest as in 'saw your H with X last week, might be nothing and felt I needed to say.'
If it was my Bestie then I would be marching up to H and X and say "hello, surprised to see you here, spoke to W today and she did not mention you were coming. Is she here tonight? Sorry I did not catch your name? I am V by the way, w bestie/close friend. How do you know H. Really?" Then I would be on the phone to Bestie.
Otherwise if it were rumours then I would be saying to Bestie H, 'I am hearing rumours about xxxx? So?" "I will be asking you if it has stopped next week" then "so it has not stopped are you telling Bestie or am I?, (crud face)"
I have done that before. I warned one close friend that I felt her H was getting too tight with another friend. Got my head bitten off, was proved right and accepted an apology. But would be more inclined to tackle the H. Only if I were there and saw it or it was my Bestie's H when I would mention X on home territory.
If this friend is worth anything to you, then ask. "Were you aware of H A? ...." And see what is said. If the response was, I was not sure, or really did not approve but did not want to hurt you or told someone this once and got a mouthful, decided never again or ' felt guilty at not telling you, but did know what to say'
Much different to ' you old hag, you deserved it, I felt sorry for him, wished it was me he as having an A with, oh thought you knew he had sex with all the women's lacross team as well, my H saw your H regularly at Strip Galore and on Tarts Corner, hated you for years, yes you were absent from the wife swap night......
Complicit? A different issue, be sure so then really cut contact on that 'friend'.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 02/13/1512:38 PM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Mmm difficult for sure, I think it depends allright, it can be akward to be in a position when you are friends with both as whatever you do you're letting someone down unless you stay out of it completely. If you do know something you are then involved whether you asked to know or not.
Certainly, as V says, you should talk to them. If they're a good friend they should be straightforward with you or they're not a friend really. Suppose it also depends if what they say makes a difference to anything you do, cf proceedings, lawyers etc as well I suppose.
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
Let's just say something has come to light, which casts doubt, on the fact friends h didn't know something was going on.
H ow is supposely a complete stranger, but This evidence puts the ow, him and h together or known to one another. Even in the same spot/post code/town the weekend h accidentally stayed with ow (well Intel says he did) combined with the half truth h used as his cover story.
Or it's one very strange twilight zone coincidence, which given all the odd things is just too neat and far fetched.
Well it means for legal stuff, I'm now backing away from them, I don't believe I want stuff to be out there. I questioned before if h had been speaking to either of them they both said no. It's more a personal thing, and a protect me thing. Best say nothing more about sitch. Keep distance, be as non specific as possible.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I was wondering what you were doing up at ~2am, hour of the wolf, hate feeling like that.
Yes, you may want to ask what was known but regardless unless theres a reallyyyyyyy good reason distance from them or in the rubbish bin, as I said theres a difference between being in an unfortunate position between two friends and straight out lying.
Feel better and get some sleep mate
M:44, W:46, S:10 M 13 years, T 15 BD:23/7/2014 W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014 My new place: 21/11/2014 W/S back to flat 22/11/2014 W coming closer, talking 4/2015 Piecing 5/2015 Moving in again 6/2015
It's best I'm cautious, regardless. I always did just presume nobody knew and that everyone's basically good. Took the postative angel.
Mmmm while it might be nice in theory, might not be so smart in this case. H was flat out paranoid and did think I was deliberately stiched up by this pair, once before. Once is unfortunate, twice well I guess in ow case I wasn't aware. Meh, won't be three. If I can help it, nc, with him and carefull contact with her.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
