Monday night S and I had an H free night. I have to be honest, and I don't know if it's because it's new and will wear off, but I am really enjoying my H free house. It's just more relaxed. I'm exhausted, taking care of everything each night is a lot of work, but I feel fulfilled at the end of the day. And so tired I am sleeping great.
Tuesday night H TM on his way home from work, asked to come have dinner with us. I said sure, we can share. So we all had hamburgers, then H helped S with his homework. While I got S's bath ready, we talked a little about him coming while we are away next week to get some final things, and showed me what he was taking to make sure ok. He agreed that S seeing him in and out moving stuff is not good. He then asked if he could take some pics off the fridge. It's covered with our pics and S's school projects. He pulled one off and asked, can I take this one, I love this pic? I looked, it's one of the 3 of us sitting on Santa Monica beach when S was about 3, all grinning ear to ear. I was speechless for a sec, but told him sure, I have an extra at work. That one really threw me. If I see that on his fridge, that will blow me away. Not sure what to think of that. In our recent conversations, I see H's mind is as scrambled as eggs, he continues to make odd choices, but he is listening. He hears me, about taking things, about moving so much in front of S, he hears me and is reacting with respect. A sign of my old H.
Wed night MIL had S at her house for Grammy day. H picked him up and we met 1/2 way to do a S switch.
Tonight, another H free night so far. I am feeling great. Very relaxed, not thinking much about sitch, just staying really focused on myself and S. Today is our 15 year dating anniversary, but don't feel really sad like I did last year. S and I made brownies to give to H for valentines day. Our new couch is being delivered on Saturday. And Monday S and I head to SoCal to Legoland. All in all, things are good.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
