I thought everything was okay....(Part 4)

[MCS]

Thanks, Mozza.

Yeah, the companionship thing is the next thing for me to tackle. I'm just not sure how. I've been pretty adamant that I'm still married and therefore don't want to date, but I'm not sure how to fill that void. I don't know sitch with W and OM, but I guess they still talk. So even if it's not physical, that emotional connection is probably still there for her. I don't see her reaching out to me until that would be finished. I'm just confused on what the next step is for me. I guess I can't see myself going for years feeling like this, if W doesn't come around or actually process a D. I guess it's one day at a time.

About my D4, probably a few months ago I would have said something to my wife about it, but i know better now.

I guess my biggest thing is that W told me she would be a better mom for the kids w/o me because she will have 'emotional stability.' Of course it's spew for the real reason she left. However her parenting seems like it's quite the opposite right now. But that's something she needs to work through as you said.

I prefer to see this as a little bit of a silver lining because up until this point, wife only had the kids weekends. The constant day in day out grind of balancing work and kids school has been on me. Don't get me wrong, as you all know I wanted that for what I felt was stability for the kids. Also, I've had 6 months to settle into that role, but it's quite the 180 for me from before BD. We used to take turns dropping off or picking up, but I usually worked more hours than her. This change is one that I couldn't show to her, but now she probably has experienced that difference in lifestyle first hand. I get into work late and have to leave early. Usually work from home after kids go to bed just to keep up. My bosses have been awesome through the whole thing, but it is stressful and taxing on everyone.