Jefe - The Beginnings of Courting - #9

[Jefe]

DLS, you should go back to to mid Oct, early Nov and catch up on the story.

Blogging:

Been an interesting week. Wife has continued to get warmer and warmer. Lots more frequent calls and texts every day.

Tuesday she stopped by to see the girls for short visit. While she was here I was trying to walk past her to go to the kitchen when she grabbed me and hugged me. First hug I had from her since...August, I think. Then she asked if I would rub her neck for a minute, first time she's really let me touch her since October, I believe. I joked and said a full back rub was just a phone call away and she seriously replied that she was going to take me up on that very soon.

She called several times this morning. During one of them we talked for awhile then she said she just called to let me know how awesome I was and that she loved me.

Me, still not calling first unless kids/household business dictates. I send an occasional positive text first but for the most part I am sticking to the "courting" phase.

Hope414, I think you nailed it dead on early in this process that she has been starving for romance. She just called just a few minutes ago and asked me how I grew to be so sweet and how she got so lucky. Apparently she's noticing a difference in my attitude.

I know DBing is about behavior modification and not digging back into past psychological stuff but I think in our case it seems to play a role. I discussed early on that I'm a yeller and the wife is a lasher. After her aunt's funeral a few weeks ago her cousin filled me in that their Grandmother was a screamer and manipulator and that my wife's mother is a big screamer too. So, I'm seeing how my "yelling" has cut my wife deeply.

At this point, I'm still not really pursuing just courting. Not asking any R questions or asking anything really. We serious talk only when she opens the door first. I'm just sitting back working on my attitude and baggage and letting her come to her own conclusions about things and it is working far better that anything I could manage or direct.

Still moving in an upward plane, zig-zagging all the way.