As my junior-in-highschool brother would say...WHOOAAA BUDDDY!!!
Myrrh...do you see the conncetions here?!?!?! I am so excited for you!!
did not call him - I went to bed aorund midnight after getting a dose of Mars and venus before bed. And then...
I was able to greet him happily (if sleepily) because I had absolutely nothing to feel bad for. And then...
Since I got enough sleep last night (and am mostly over my case of The Plague), I was really pleasant this morning, and we got ready together.
See...that is so great! The phone becomes a pumpkin, Myrrh gets rest, Dustin gets to live another day and WOW - everyone is happy! GO YOU GO YOU GO YOUUUUUU
Oh, can I say it? Where YOU the one who was going to call it quits a mere few days ago?
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
and WOW - everyone is happy! GO YOU GO YOU GO YOUUUUUU
Thank, thank you. (Bowing and posing for pictures).
Oh, can I say it? Where YOU the one who was going to call it quits a mere few days ago?
Yeah, wtf was wrong with me? Stupid low pma - it just seems so EASY when I get it right! So obvious...now to keep the positive changes going...hmm. Can I just say I am so proud of myself! Hugs, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Bets- I think speaking TO pumpkins is okay; it's just attempting to make phone calls with them that's the problem...I've never really cared too much if I looked silly -it's just part of my charm.
Today we are back to our normal routine, since we are not switching S back and forth in the middle of the day, and taking care of his sick little self...so it might be a bit lonely this evening. I do have quite a bit of housework I need to catch up on, since I've been sick...so maybe some of that.
I will post my goals in a bit, though! Hugs, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
I started chatting with Betsey today about a sitch I was concerned with, and I started talking about how things used to be when my H was sneaky, dishonest, etc - now the paranoia is creeping back in.
My husband owns a tattoo/body piercing shop and, this time last year, it was Party Central. At a VERY low point, I found pics on his shop computer of girls (including OW) making out with each other and flashing in the shop. It was an absolute NIGHTMARE, and he let it get completely out of hand. As far as I can tell and see, it is NOT that way anymore. They stopped letting huge crowds of people hang out there, my H stopped the partying and booted OW, and he b****ed at his business partner until he stopped being an a*hole to me.
H told me this morning they are thinking about hiring some 16-year-old girl that is one of Joe's relatives or friend's daughters or something, and the idea terrifies me. I was chatting with Bets to get some insight into how I should handle it - he did TELL me about it after all.
But instead of making things clearer, I seem to have just stirred up a whole bunch of old crap for myself emotionally. Now I am in a dangerous spot again - I have contacted my H WAY too much today, and he;ll probably completely stop telling me anything if I don't calm down (he doesn't know how freaked I am).
Anyway, the shop craziness is why I go so nuts at night - I was used to imagining what might be happening.
And the PMA takes a dive... HELP!!!!
Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Welcome to the contact too much club. You've stirred yourself up. So have I. So now I am sitting on my hands, watched Dr.Phil (very intersting today) and waiting for one son to arrive so we can book out of here.
Put your imagination next to the pumpkin for now.
When you can't make a decision because you are torn between your heart and your head, listen to the half with the brain.
I didn't want you to freak out, sweetie... there is pretty much nothing that can't be worked out if given a chance to think things through.
Breathe.... PMA coming back up?
The only reason I recommended posting this is because I think it's helpful for others to see that your midnight calls aren't the result of a quirky obsessive compulsive addiction you have to phones in the middle of the night....
But because the truth is you have had reason to fear in the past.
The only time the past is helpful is if you can use it to analyze how to change things now.
Let's back up and go over the positives:
1. D told you about his dilemma 2. He did so knowing you might freak out 3. You said that he no longer lets his bus partner take cheap shots at you 4. D feels comfortable enough to tell you this, knowing that he had a R with 19 yr old OW from the parlor.
Let's figure this out. The phone still turns into a pumpkin tonight, right? Because there is no need to get worked up, Myrrh.
Hugs,
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I didn't want you to freak out, sweetie... there is pretty much nothing that can't be worked out if given a chance to think things through.
That's something I need to hear over and over again.
Breathe.... PMA coming back up?
Whew...slowly. It wasn't you, bets, just the scary memories kin do fswept me away for a bit.
The only reason I recommended posting this is because I think it's helpful for others to see that your midnight calls aren't the result of a quirky obsessive compulsive addiction you have to phones in the middle of the night....
Yes, it is true that there is a reason for my late-night anxiety. He wasn't always just sitting around and playing Everquest...and he wasn't always easy to get in touch with. before he left home especially he would just disappear occasionally - to the beach, with his friend Brad, to a strip club, clubbing with OW. That was when things were at their worst, and I hated not knowing where he was or if he was ever coming home! That's why I have such a problem with not contacting him.
The only time the past is helpful is if you can use it to analyze how to change things now.
He only did that sort of thing when I was in full crazymaking mode.
Let's back up and go over the positives:
1. D told you about his dilemma 2. He did so knowing you might freak out 3. You said that he no longer lets his bus partner take cheap shots at you 4. D feels comfortable enough to tell you this, knowing that he had a R with 19 yr old OW from the parlor.
This is a BIG positive. He might be starting to trust me a little bit again, That is MAJOR.
Let's figure this out. The phone still turns into a pumpkin tonight, right?
Yup - it will officially get all orange and squishy around 10pm or so.
Because there is no need to get worked up, Myrrh.
There really isn't - this hasn't even happened yet. I need to remember to focus on the present and not catastrophize everything.
Hugs right back at you. I am okay.
Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
