Yes a little coitus interruptus would be classic! Sadly not possible when she's away. On the plus side I know exactly when she's seeing OM in person.
Infidelitus interruptus is a term I coined for when a betrayed spouse knows for a fact that his or her spouse is off on a planned-to-be-romantic getaway with their OP. Preferably flying on an airplane. Then, just before the plane goes "wheels up," you send her a text like "I hope this is worth it for you, and that you've fully considered all of the ramifications. I know everything. We'll need to talk when you get back, obviously."
And then of course the panicked spouse takes off, loses their cell coverage, and you ruin their entire little rendezvous as all they do is TALK ABOUT YOU the entire time, and you refuse to answer her frantic texts after she lands at St. Hookemup Island Resort.
Twisted, huh? Hey, we can't control their decision to have an affair, but it doesn't mean we have to make it FUN for them . . . does it?
We need to talk. I would appreciated it if you would listen and let me finish.
I want to be clear on some things. One, I am not willing live in an open marriage with a third party.
Two, we will not be friends should you decide to proceed with a D. Make no mistake -- if you choose to end our marriage this way, by continuing your affair with OM. It is incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and our family. We will co-parent our children, and I will of course be civil and courteous, but this isn't how 'friends' treat each other.
We have some decisions to make here. When you’re ready, please let me know your thoughts.
Starsky,
I forgot your bit about "if you end the A, I'm here and willing to work with you......." script. Can you please help out here as my mind blanked out?
I forgot your bit about "if you end the A, I'm here and willing to work with you......." script. Can you please help out here as my mind blanked out?
"However, if you will end your affair -- and I mean absolutely no-contact, you send a letter and agree to be fully transparent with me -- and come back and work on the marriage with me for some set period of time, unencumbered by a third party. Let's say 6 months, or a year" ... (and don't make this any LESS than six months) . . . "and then it doesn't work out, for either one of us? Then I think I could not only still be your friend if we divorced, but probably pretty good friends going forward, as at least I'll know we tried."
That's off the top of my head, Wonka. And I just added the part about N/C and transparency, because now that I think about it, I think you have to let the wayward spouse know what you would expect.
I've combined the two scripts from myself and Starsky. I struck out the last portion as I do not think it is appropriate at this stage to feed ideas in W's head that you'll eventually be friends. Why? She's high on her affair with the OM and needs to know the hard line in ending it.
W,
We need to talk. I would appreciate it if you would listen and let me finish.
I want to be clear on some things.
One, I am not willing live in an open marriage with a third party.
Two, we will not be friends should you decide to proceed with a D. Make no mistake -- if you choose to end our marriage this way, by continuing your affair with OM. It is incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and our family. We will co-parent our children, and I will of course be civil and courteous, but this isn't how 'friends' treat each other.
However, if you will end your affair -- and I mean absolutely no-contact, you send a letter and agree to be fully transparent with me -- and come back and work on the marriage with me for some set period of time, unencumbered by a third party. Let's say 6 months, or a year" ... (and don't make this any LESS than six months) . . . "and then it doesn't work out, for either one of us? Then I think I could not only still be your friend if we divorced, but probably pretty good friends going forward, as at least I'll know we tried.
We have some decisions to make here. When you’re ready, please let me know your thoughts.
If you delete that (and I don't disagree that he probably should), then you're left with an open-ended sentence there (you've used an "if" but no "then" paired with it)
Thank yew. Thank yew. Thankyewveramuuuch. I'm here all week!