I've combined the two scripts from myself and Starsky. I struck out the last portion as I do not think it is appropriate at this stage to feed ideas in W's head that you'll eventually be friends. Why? She's high on her affair with the OM and needs to know the hard line in ending it.
W,
We need to talk. I would appreciate it if you would listen and let me finish.
I want to be clear on some things.
One, I am not willing live in an open marriage with a third party.
Two, we will not be friends should you decide to proceed with a D. Make no mistake -- if you choose to end our marriage this way, by continuing your affair with OM. It is incredibly disrespectful to me, to our marriage and our family. We will co-parent our children, and I will of course be civil and courteous, but this isn't how 'friends' treat each other.
However, if you will end your affair -- and I mean absolutely no-contact, you send a letter and agree to be fully transparent with me -- and come back and work on the marriage with me for some set period of time, unencumbered by a third party. Let's say 6 months, or a year" ... (and don't make this any LESS than six months) . . . "and then it doesn't work out, for either one of us? Then I think I could not only still be your friend if we divorced, but probably pretty good friends going forward, as at least I'll know we tried.
We have some decisions to make here. When you’re ready, please let me know your thoughts.
