vdubber, how can your W respect you if she is in an affair and you are still her friend? I know this is tough, and she probably was your best friend, but for your sanity you have to stop talking to her about your relationship, detach, pull back and no longer be her friend.
One recommendation I have for you is to read anything that is posted here by sandi2. She is a goldmine for guys like us, who have WAWs.
I hope your IC session is helpful. Keep up the good work in seeing your counselor. Having your friends around you right now is also important.
