Just on the dark thing, gogofo, in an ideal world, you would continue to be cordial with your wife and create those positive interactions before going your separate ways. The reason everyone here is advising that you go dark is so you can learn to detach and focus on yourself without your wife in the picture.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014