newcomer now receives mail in Hell

[bravo61]

Been awhile since I posted.
Not much has happened. We haven't watched the show together again yet. We have had a couple of interactions that in the past would have turned into fights and blaming. But with the behavior I've learned and used all these months, that was averted.

She told me that she might pick up a shift that would keep her from coming over to watch the show but that she would let me know. Well she didn't (and no I had no expectations). Instead, I saw that she had gone out drinking with her friends via FB pic post. Instead of calling her on it immediately, I thought about why it bothered me. It bothered me that she didn't let me know as she said she would.

The next dday when she came to pick up D, I very calmly explained to her that I wasn't mad but that I'd like to have a relationship in which there is a level of trust (this has been a huge problem making promises to the kids and I get to deal w/their disappointment) for each other. She knew immediately what I was talking about & to her credit she wasn't as defensive as she has been before. I told her it was fine and I'll never bring it up again as I'm done with the scorekeeping. She tried to go into what all she did that night & I gently told her it was none of my business. She apologized and said that she had a rough time working nights & all the shifts. She said that her scheduling and remembering things,even to send off bills, has really suffered. I empathized and let her know that I'm sure she's doing the best she can. When she left she gave me a big hug and even smiled & waved from the car.

Later on that evening I sent her a text to thank her for listening. She responded that she was sorry again and thanked me for being gracious.

Part two in next post