Jbird#2 Separated Living Together Need Advice

[25yearsmlc]

Jbird

if you really read my list of GAL activities that I did in Alaska, where I knew no one at first, I HOPE you realized I was also afraid.

But the alternative to GAL is far worse. When you "get that" then it becomes clear that the only way out of this is THRU it.

Yes it takes courage to change. I know that.

But I have a feeling that fears have kept you stuck in unrewarding behaviors for too long already.

The thing I would fear most if I were you, is more of the same.


Make the needed changes, asap. Forget about what your w needs b/c SHE thinks that is what she is pursuing so, you can wish her the best but again, put the focus back ON Your kids and yourself. IF you are cooking and she happens to be there, fine, she can eat. I would not refuse to make food for her IF I were cooking anyhow, but to go out of your way for her at this point, is probably going to look weak. She is leaving you for another man and she has cheated on you before.


Do you really want to make her a fine meal to celebrate that?

Do NOTHING in anger. But be busy. Valentines is coming up soon. GO OUT and do something fun! Be busy and preoccupied and do NOT spend your energy wondering about her.

Your SND is just one of your kids, and I know she'll always need you in ways your others won't, but they still do as well.

Every kid needs a "Rock" parent, a stable force in their lives whom they know will always be there for them. That's you.

But they also need to see you creating a happier life for yourself b/c YOU are their model. Teach them how to be happy people, by becoming one yourself.

Your broken hearted daughter cannot let someone else (like the man who left her for OW) determine if SHE can be happy; SHE Decides that. You must reinforce this for her, by demonstrating that.

It's a HUGE life lesson for all. Good luck!