Starsky, Toots etc. help me with more consequences without filing. I know each sitch is different but give me examples or ideas of things that turn up the heat without filing.
One small, very practical idea I saw on this forum once was where a betrayed wife started taking just ONE thing she used to do each day for her wayward husband, and replaced it with something she then began to do for HERSELF.
Try to think of things that you do for your wife, that you wouldn't do for someone OTHER than your wife. Not simple courtesies (which you should mostly continue to do), but rather things that "I do these because we are committed to one another," and that are probably no longer appropriate now that she is opening saying she's no longer monogamous with you.
Legally, it depends on where you live and what the D and S laws are in your jurisdiction. In Divorce Remedy, Michele talks about having a lawyer draw up something SHORT of a divorce decree, if such a thing exists where you are. I've also suggested leaving the Yellow Pages open to the family law pages for her to find, or a business card of a real "shark" men's rights attorney lying upside down on your nightstand or by your bathroom sink.
There's a ton of ways you can turn up the heat short of filing for divorce. And of course, you can always keep divorce on the table as well, just as a credible threat.
