W still having PA with OP

[4mendmj]

Starsky, you are correct. I feel guilt for not being the "helpful placating" me. For example, I quit doing her laundry a few days ago. I noticed last night she did a load on her own of her stuff. I felt horrible that I didn't just do it but knew it was the right thing. Even better, she left it overnight in the wash so it probably stunk this morning.

You are correct that vindictive is a strong word but I used it because I feel like I am fighting nasty instead of the way I should feel which is I am standing up for myself and what I believe.

Starsky, Toots etc. help me with more consequences without filing. I know each sitch is different but give me examples or ideas of things that turn up the heat without filing.