Hey guys well it has been a few days since I have posted here. In an effort to simply recount what is going on I have committed to posting both the good and the bad. And this week so far has been falling into the bad category. The best way I can describe it is like having my PMA get kicked in the teeth repeatedly. Sunday was certainly a tough day, D8 had her 9th bday... so I guess she is D9 now. Overall it was a good event, unfortunately these events usually involve mostly my W family. My family is scattered to the wind so to speak, but my mother was there. Simply put it was tough, hard to face many things that are about to change. I have become very close to my W family, in a lot of ways I have really enjoyed how close knit they all are. Hard to face the reality that that will be no more soon, or at least that is how it is looking.
On the positive side both at the party and a couple days before I did have some of her family reach out to me with some words of encouragement... and maybe a little understanding. I have been cautious about this for two reasons 1) I need to detach which includes her family too. 2) They are her support ground and I don't want to be seen as impinging on that. It still felt nice to hear those words though, but it was also hard too in a way to hear them. Does that make sense? Monday the kicks to my PMA just continued, one of my classes decided that this week was going to be the time to talk about families. I got to sit through videos after videos of what family means and how diverse the meaning could be. I really tried to put a positive spin on it but really had no luck. It was D9 official bday on Monday and she wanted to go out for dinner. I was all for it but at the last min she decided that she wanted to go see my W new place. Probably a mistake on my part, I agree to go with then out to dinner. I know I can hear everyone right now saying WTF!!!! I think in some ways I was trying to do what I thought would be best for D9, at a determent to my PMA.
The rest of the week has been struggle, I did have a bit of a win last night. I had asked D9 when she thought that it would be a good idea to move the TV's around, and start a little bit of the shift in stuff around the house. She picked last night, so when I got home from school I set out to complete that task. I can't tell you how good it felt to start to change things around the house to suit my own taste. Obviously my W was still there (she doesn't move out till Sunday now) but I did a lot of the changes without any input from her. I have a feeling that reality might have hit her a bit in the head last night. She made a point of staying up stairs, where I could hear her phone ping with what I would assume was messages from the OM. I'm pretty sure it was done deliberately, but I was so wrapped up in changing things around it didn't bug me at all. Win I think right? Anyways that is pretty much it so far. Operation AFSD continues, hitting the gym has certainly helped to add a boost to these tough days. I also am pretty immersed in school right now. Just a few more days now and then we start our new living arrangements.
Oh that also reminds me Linda you asked about fallout from the lawyer... none yet, but I don't think he actually contacted hers until this past Tuesday. I would think that if there is going to be any fallout that would happen soon. He was pretty clear that she was moving out this weekend and nothing had been put in writing yet. So how am I doing? I'd like to think I'm doing ok on the detaching. I think that next big milestone there will come after she moves out. As my best friend put it you won't be constantly being hit in the face with the OM day in day out. And she won't be able to use that as a tool of manipulation. Oh and I also have decided that once she moves out the ring is coming off. I certainly hope that some day I will be able to put it back on, I remain hopeful that this marriage can still be saved. I guess that a good place to end, for now. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.
M:34 W:34 D:8 D:5 M:10 T:15 BD: 10/10/14 D filed: 10/21/14 PA/EA:09/2013 EA:09/2014 - on going (online)
