When my W got involved with OM she seriously thought this guy would swoop in, rescue her from her miserable marriage, and whisk her away. She talked about packing up our children and her entire life and moving 800 miles to a place she's never even seen to live happily ever after. Of course there was the minor issue of his wife and children, but true love conquers all, right? This is the woman who refused to move with me to Texas because she would have been too far (less than 200 miles) from her very healthy and independent widowed mother. And her A was 98% emotional, with very limited physical contact.
My W is still going through withdrawal, but even she shakes her head at what she was thinking back then.
My point is that you shouldn't assume that the woman you married is still there. An A is an addiction, like heroin, and someone who is in one is not considering the consequences of their actions. They will blow up their families, their careers, and everything in their lives to keep that high going.
You sound just like I did after BD. I can't believe I posted some of the things I did back then. Not to be harsh, but man up. Show her calm, strength and confidence. Know your boundaries and set them clearly. And do it yesterday.
As Starksy said, no one mistake will end your chances at reconciliation. You are in for a long journey, and you will make missteps along the way. When you do, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and drive on. You can do this.
Last edited by Rzrback; 02/12/1504:29 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
