Hi friends! Thanks so much for checking in and offering the great tips and ideas.
Originally Posted By: ganb8te
When can you guys file in your state? I guess 12 months less 28 days is my next big milestone - H may let his intentions be know around then (beginning May). In the meantime I intend to keep doing what I have been doing.
Well, this is where my situation is a bit different from others on this site. We called ourselves married but technically had a registered partnership. Where I live this offers basically the same rights as a marriage but is much easier to get out of it seems. All you have to do is file simple papers at the government office. We did that when we moved, as part of the partnership requires sharing living quarters. So when we changed our addresses we changed our status as well. Technically we are already "divorced" and there was not really any discussion about it. We had an agreement about financials and that sort of thing but it has all been worked out as per the agreement. It was done in the very early days as we both moved right away.
So, there will be no need for the next milestone I guess.
Originally Posted By: ganb8te
Wow - where did those months go? The first few seemed to take years, but I swear the last few have passed in the blink of an eye, don't you think?
So true! I guess at first it is so dramatic and then you start to get used to it and time passes by...
Originally Posted By: Toots
Ive decided to do a little more reading recently. That helped me in the early stages and I haven't done any for a while. I've just ordered Jim Conway's MLC book. I'm not sure if H is having an MLC, but I figure I may as well cover all the bases!
Good tip Toots! And thank you for your supportive words. I have read many of the recommended books but I am sure I can find a few more that might help me with my muddled head. Maybe deeper understanding and introspection would be helpful. I have to say that reading on here and other places about MLC has really helped me see how my H's wacky behaviors are not unique and to be able to let it go a little bit instead of dwelling on the confusion.
Thanks Karma and Stacey for the words of support.
I've been feeling a little better about the OWs since I vented above. I guess I really have to see that he is not at his best right now, and if they want him when he is a mess then they can have him. He's the type to chase after a fantasy and not realize that everyone sh*ts, as they say. While I think the OWs he is chasing after are nice girls with a lot going for them, they are also the types who post selfies all day long. Get a life girls. Isn't there something else to photograph than you looking surprised or making a kissy face? I know this is normal with the youth of today but doesn't it show something like narcissism to not see anything worth capturing and sharing other than your own pretty face?
Sometimes I fight back with my own sexy selfies but ultimately it just feels self-centered. Can be good Facebook fodder to show yourself looking hot and doing good once in a while I suppose.
How did I get on this rant? No idea.
Have a good day my friends! Lisa A1
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
While I think the OWs he is chasing after are nice girls with a lot going for them, they are also the types who post selfies all day long. Get a life girls. Isn't there something else to photograph than you looking surprised or making a kissy face?
IRK! These girls are automatically out of contention for me (well, I'm too old anyway). I've said elsewhere that I imagine myself arguing with any pretty girl I meet, but these... Well: I can't even. She'd have her hands all over me, her cleavage in my face and laugh at everything I say, I'd be looking for the nearest exit anyway. Major red flag for immaturity, lack of self-confidence, constant need for validation, narcissism, etc. Your H is after them?! That's fantastic news: I can't imagine he'll have an easy time past the third date, if he has the patience to make it there. If you don't R, then I'll pray that he ends up with one of them.
Do not compete with these girls. Can you imagine any of them posting the mature insights that you share here? Can you imagine them being pleasant partners for their boyfriends? ARGH! The only immature woman I'm willing to consider taking in my life is my WAW. We have a history, a bond and two kids. And she doesn't even post selfies.
Be LisaA1; she has a lot going on for herself. Keep growing and most certainly do not look behind or beneath you for inspiration.
------ PS: Apologies to potential selfie girls on these boards. Hope you find a good man.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
I do have a few selfie friends, nice people but self absorbed. I think if I were more photogenic I'd be more enthusiastic haha.
These girls he is chasing are immature party babes but they are also fun, interesting and smart. Unfortunately. Nothing I can do. It makes me feel sad that he has moved on to all these women, but I realized that I can probably come to accept it. Even if he runs off into the sunset with one of them... That's his choice and if that makes him happier then that's the way it goes.
More and more I am enjoying my single independent life. When I imagine WAH or even any guy hanging out in my house all day, wanting to agree all the time on what to eat and what to do, it just seems so boring and stifling. Perhaps this is a backlash to my H as he was extremely clingy. I've always been independent and cherished my alone time. I've realized that I gave that up to have a relationship with him, and not in a healthy way. I thought it would hurt him if I asked for space, so I never did.
I think I should cherish this gift of time and enjoy being alone. If I do want a man in the future hopefully I can find one who is kind and sweet and trustworthy but independent!
Bad dreams last night. WAH suddenly was back and super duper loving. Then somehow I was in a new place/new dream and OW1 was in the vicinity. I went to follow her into an alleyway to spy on her or yell at her and ended up in a physical fight. I beat her up. Then realized her friend was there filming it and was going to turn me in to the police. I had no choice but to beat the friend up too and take her camera to destroy the evidence. I woke up physically exhausted, I think I was wrestling with the pillows.
Strange dreams, no? Yuck.
Lately I have been realizing what a loser WAH is. (he has been such an immature jerk) Feel like moving on and forgetting him.
How's this for a Valentines Day poem?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'd rather be single Than be with you.
Hope everyone had a sadness-free Valentines Day. I didn't really notice it too much. I did meet a cute guy at a party and danced with him.
H texted me to ask me to lunch the other day but I declined. Last contact was a week before when he complimented me on a work accomplishment. Prior was a few weeks before that when he asked to meet up to give me some of my things he still has. Despite his friendly contact my feelings toward him have been of the negative variety.
More and more I am disgusted by his behaviors, doubtful of his intentions and wondering whether I ever loved him.
I think this new phase is also spurred by something a friend told me. We had not seen each other in some time and he was asking for an update on the situation. I explained some of the latest developments and interactions. His reaction was basically "he sounds like an absolute loser, why are you still speaking to him?"
Later the friend apologized for such a blunt comment, but I didn't take it that way at all. It actually shocked me into realizing that he was right. My H was being a huge idiot and loser, and no matter how kind and honorable he had been in our relationship, he is no longer that respectable person. If I met him today I would find him irritating and ridiculous. Maybe this is just a phase, but it is a phase I want no part of.
Thanks for reading my thoughts friends, keep the jokes and poems coming!
