Part 12 - Contents may vary

[edz]

Hi Jim

yes he's been a bit of a pain last few days (mr fixit not s) he's off with Ggs ms I can fix that for you I think at the moment

No it wasnt the best, in some ways I remember good times (mostly when mum was well), flipside was I was massively independent, self reliant and was (in retrospect) running a household at 9 so nothing domestic really bothers me (I'd make someone a really good househusband - any millionaresses around?)

That was (and to a much lesser degree now I understand it) is why I get confused at s and his not wanting to be more independent and pursue activities. I think w does baby him too much, I think she may be starting to see that too and we had a call yesterday that touched upon the fact that at his height and age we have 3 years or so, then he can get on his bike or a bus or walk to friends or wherever he wants and what I say or she says about his schedule isnt going to mean too much unless he respects it!

Emailed w this morning to ask about weekend and see if she wanted to head out with s and I bowling etc, got a reply politely declining as she wants to finish up sorting decorating s's room. Oh, and asking can I pay her initial council tax as she hasnt had her assessment through yet.

Was torn and I did consider saying no to this, w has spent out on rugs and soft furnishings when I've held back and only focussed on spending in s's room really. Right now though she's going through a lot, she has effectively lost her job etc having said that almost all of this is due to her decisions.

Went back and wanted her to understand impacts without being awkward.

Simply said no worries on saturday and she indeed should get on with what she needs to do. Pointed out Im hurting for money at the moment but I don't want to see her get dragged to court, s and I will do something less costly than bowling and going out to lunch, so pay the initial payment from the joint account. Said that we should get together and discuss finances soon as we should move off the joint account, that im not pushing anything but I'd like to know what her plans are with her cc payment, house insurance and tv which she bought on our cc. Said I am in no way pushing but we should address these, Im not trying to push into her space or push her for decisions and indeed im making my own right now and dont want to crowd her.

Finished by saying I'll be there about 9:30ish saturday and best not to mention bowling to s in case we dont go but we'll have fun anyway

More I see the more I feel w is not coping well. She's always done the same in taking on too many things but previously she would then pass off the overspill to me and I would quietly (well maybe with a grumble) get on with it. In this case she's not getting support. Her M&D are as always unreliable, they will help when its convenient but have now switched to being focussed on their house sale and looking where they want to rent further north, w's flat is not a priority except to use the garage. Indeed the fridge is still in the middle of the kitchen after 4 weeks. W will not tackle them on this of course and unless it impacts s I'm simply not getting involved in it.

Well, I'll help with CT as its the right thing to do but I get the impression w would rather have everything collapse around her ears and point to me rather than make any move to r - at least at the moment.

Hey ho, cant all be good news I suppose