Did you not say they met about three times a year for conventions, etc.?

When a third party is involved, then the dynamics change and you can't do some of those things
you should have been doing all this time. Buying flowers, giving gifts, arranging dates, etc., is chasing after her.

DB teaches to pull back. Don't crowd her, smother her, cling to her. Not in an angry or sullen way, but like you have so much interesting things going on in your life.

If you don't have a problem having sex with your W, knowing the OM probably has too, then that is your personal choice. But, to me, it does seem that that would be like putting your stam of approval on her have more than one sex partner.

When you read MWD books, you have to realize part of it applies to troubled M without any infidelity, or even a WAS, and then there are sections about affairs.

I agree with what Starsky said about treating her as if she were a neighbor spending the night.

Last edited by sandi2; 02/12/15 10:16 AM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!