Oh, Susana! (3)

[Train]

2x4 anyone?
Welllll, since you asked ...

When I saw you wrote this to H: Saw my counsellor today and I am learning a lot and working hard to be more positive. ... I literally cringed.

Fewer words. More actions.

You're supposed to be a light, breezy, mysterious girl who is happily GAL right now.

Instead, you just told H that while HE is out GAL, you're at home, trying to "be more positive" to make him - a WAYWARD H - happy.

Susana, he has fired you as his W. That's blunt, but it's true. Why would you want to let him know that you're pining away at home, working on these supposed "issues" of yours, while he's having a BLAST away from you? Follow his lead. Why aren't YOU out having a blast, too? You deserve it, and what better opportunity to go live it up a little than when H is away, living it up himself?

I know you don't feel as carefree as he does right now. But you have a golden opportunity right now to back off and take the pressure off of him - and give him a glimpse of what it would be like if he loses you. Instead, you showed him that while he's having a great time away from you, you are pining away at home, making changes to make him happy ... even though HE is the one who is abandoning your M and the vows you made before God to be together "until death do (you) part" (!!?!).

Do you see how absolutely backwards that is?

Calibri hit the nail on the head with this, too: Your text smacked of opening the floor up for a R talk. And that's a huge DB no-no. It just puts a mirror up to your problems, which H is currently *running from*. And the message REALLY came across as you "following H around like a lost puppy dog," especially while he's out GAL. And that's another huge no-no (see sandi's rules).

I know this seems so counter-intuitive, but the only thing that will re-attract your H right now is you taking care of you for YOU. Not for him. I know it's hard. I know it feels impossible. I've been there. But the only way through this is THROUGH it. And you MUST get your self-confidence back.

Less talk. More actions. Okay?

You can DO this.