Just for laughs. Found this gem from a dating site:
"I can handle the truth, can you handle me?
I'm tiny. I throw axes, real ones, at a target (sometimes blindfolded.) axe-throwing: it's my stress relief, because I live an intense John Grisham novel type of daylife and sometimes a better than Fifty Shades of Gray night life (not that I've even read the book. lol) ..... Otherwise I'm busy …"
Gee whiz....you throw axes to relief your stress? Oohhh okay.
Well, let's get back to my underwhelming existence lol. On Sabbath Pastor and his wife have invited myself and seven other lonely losers (lol) for a Valentine's Day Haystack lunch. Haystack is an Adventist dish which to me seems like nachos...but we'll see. I may regret introducing him to the Vegan bakery that I spotted on my way to Bible study on Wednesday evening...he's planning to use vegan cheese and sour cream substitutes that I know he bought there cuz he showed them to me! Anyway, we're gonna have haystacks and then burn photos of our ex's in the parking lot afterwards...after praying for them, of course (you know I'm kidding, right) Church Lady is on the list of invitees...maybe we can throw nachos at each other. I'm thinking of supplying her with some age zingers she can throw at me so that I'm not caught off guard when she nails me. How're these for starters? Add to the list as you see fit.
-These nacho chips crunch like your bones when you move. -Without a car how do you transport your wheelchair? -I've got a coupon for Depends. You want it? -How do you gum nacho chips? -Would you like me to feed you? -Hey, those brown age spots compliment you eyes. -Did you ever date Ellen G White? -Grey is your colour! -Which arthritis medication do your prefer? -When was the last time you saw your libido?
I had a lovely Valentine's Day lunch at church today. I feel so fortunate to be part of a church that on special occasions recognizes those of us who are alone. Pastor and his wife invited about eight of us to join them for lunch today in the fellowship hall. We had a great time together. I sat with Church Lady and her girlfriend and we bantered back and forth and ended up doing dishes together (I think that's the Adventist version of scoring lol). I was teasing her about how she hadn't been mean to me all day and she said "I listened to Pastor's message and today is the day of love" I replied "Ah that's so sweet, you're showing me love!" Anyway, we all had a really nice time. Next week we're going to a nursing home to sing in the afternoon and in the evening having a games night. Pastor's wife says I can hang out with her at the church in the afternoon between activities and they'll drive me home after. I feel very blessed. I bought my daughters some Godiva chocolate for Valentine's Day and posted on FB "Happy V Day to my two sweethearts, O & E. Thanks for being the seasoning on my tofu, the roses on my thorns and for getting jobs so I don't have to pay you allowance anymore. Love you both" Wonderful day!
I got a message from a lady...out of town, of course, and she wants me to tell her what I "stand for". Huh? How's this "I stand for walks on a moonlit beach while listening to the waves swish against the shore. I stand for sitting by a roaring fire with a glass of fine wine and an even finer lady like yourself at my side. I stand for that warm glow that fills my heart whenever I hear the sound of your voice. I stand for whatever will get me into your pants" Think I should go with it lol?
