Is it my place to say these things to him? Or do I wait to say it through the lawyer?
Honest question: What do you want? I lost track. I know you'd like him to care, but what would be a time share that would suit you? Thinking about your needs and that of the kids, of course.
In short, it's not for you to teach him anything. There's nothing to say. It's all your actions. If you want him to have the kids two nights a week, because you need the time off (you do) and the kids need to bond with him, then you set it and become inflexible about it. Make it a 180. From here, he seems to know exactly how much wiggle space he has with you. If he's a Nice Guy, like me, then his skill is precisely to measure this space and make the most of it. In fact, that's probably how he became successful, by guessing exactly what's expected of him and meeting it as efficiently as possible.
BTW, since he's that successful, I'm flabbergasted that he didn't get an apartment with enough space for them. There's something wrong with him. It doesn't seem to be depression. I wish an IC would x-ray him and report to us.
Oh and that comment about "I don't want to fight" is infuriating. What I'll grant him (or DB) is that you appear to "reason" a lot with him, as if you want to convince him of your reasoning. It's a lost cause. Stop explaining yourself, stop seeking his validation of your reasons and feelings. Just tell him what you want and enforce it.
-------------- Just a thought: it's interesting how everyone in this discussion and, to a certain extent, on these boards appear to be involved parents, while so many WAS seem to be detached and uninvolved.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
