I have always kept an eye on your sitch ... admire how strong you are especially when you fail to give yourself credit.
I would beware of the push and pull ... seems to me your xh like to make sure you are still where he left you, I think you see that. Just as his world was crashing down he ran to you .... then baby came and he realized there was not a timer attached to an actual bomb. And remember I told you that while he is still in that tunnel he will be easily manipulated by hww, she has his child and I have no doubt she is pulling the correct strings at the correct time.
Mighty ... you need to let him go, let him bake ... he got your hopes up and that stinks ... I know if my W did the same thing I would have jumped off a cliff to meet her half way ... I get it .... its tough when we have our heads on straight and proper and we try to rationalize their crazy.
He wants it all ... can't blame the guy for trying ... you need to do you for a bit .. like others have said. Stop wasting all that energy on him, hww, and what they are upto ... he made his choice, made his bed, now you need to make yours, start putting yourself first, along with your kids ... you have this.
Yes. I am liking it, too! But... of course... its is very up and down... moment to moment. He texted me a few hours after the plant funeral about s17's phone. He could have just tried s17. I didn't respond, but told s17 to text his dad.
Then, two hours after that, he called my phone. I missed it. And... will not be returning it.
Donno.... donno what he wants from me. Make sure he has a plan b? Well... ain't happenin.
I just keep thinking about how pathetic they are. They are quite a match.
I don't want to be that pathetic person. Not at all. Stepping away certainly is giving me a different perspective. Man, you guys must have really wanted to shake me.
I am still on pretty shaky ground, I will admit. I have some ways to go. I get pretty scared sometimes. Others I feel much better. But, it really has only been like a day. Ha!
I think I know what is coming up for xh's sitch, and it makes me feel a little sick. I know it will still hurt and bother me. However, sometimes I am just like- eh. I think going back there is like more for real this time. Blah.
I still know that he is a mess. He is clueless. But, if he feels happy- so be it.
I ain't worried bout that. Nope. I gotta think about the good things I have going on for me....
Ok, well that was fast.
Just kidding. Looking into flights to get me and the kids outta here for a bit. Whoop whoop! They both have birthdays this month- I think it would be a great present. I don't think we will be able to take a big trip now, but I could get the tickets now for spring break or something.
I am sure by tomorrow I won't hear anymore. A full day of totally ignoring all texts and calls... I am sure he will get it. Who likes rejection?
Karma and Cali... didn't see your posts earlier. Thanks for coming around.
Karma- you are right. Some times xh does things and I'm like, really? Its a little bit of bizarre-o world, though.
I think he wants me there to beat up, walk on, use, and lead-on until he is done. I mean, what the heck else does he want? I got nuttin else from him being around. Does he think I'm just gonna hang around for that? No thanks. Got better things to do. Like... clean the bathroom.
Just like I told Shining: He's an @ss hole. Pass the salt.
I think that's my mantra.
Cali- Smokes! Is she ever pulling on those heart strings with that babe! It REALLY bothered me before that he was doing this with someone else. It's not like we divorced and he started a respectable r after that. The chick got knocked-up unintentionally while we were married. Then they set up to play house while I was living in oblivion. So it bothered me that he was going through this process with the likes of her, and she thought it was so exciting and a happy time. All the while- his wife and kids were devastated. But there was nothing I could do but watch as he shared this experience with her- and they now share a child. AAAwwwwwwww..... sweet, right?
Well, I just don't care so much anymore. I thought he took away from what we had, and really he did. But more than anything, he took away from himself. Because- me and the kids, we are still it. We are still a tight, close loving family. He didn't value that. His loss.
I am not sweating thing as I did before. I am not sure why or what exactly happened inside of me. But... they can have their mock family.
Yes, Shining. Getting back to me... where I get standing ovations often.
Yes... I am planning a trip. But, I don't wanna let those air miles go from xh. I have a different plan with those... you know what I mean?
Got, yet, another text tonight! Jiminy Cricket! This time about d13 phone (yes... broke again. I know you guys think I am making this stuff up. We really have iphone issues). He asked if I would pay half. And, well, I took the opportunity... I said, "Yes. Are you going to pay for 1/2 of her school trip? $210 each, I've already made the deposit." He asked when it was and I answered and he said OK. I left it at that. Whew. That was it. Business and nuttin else.
