I confronted W about this and said I thought she was having an EA. She agreed, and said that she wasn't unhappy with me, but that she'd met the OM during a rough patch in our M and that they had a special connection. She apologized for hurting my feelings, but said that her relationship with the OM was important to her, and that she might not be cut out for strict monogamy. She said she still wanted to keep our relationship as the primary one, and that the EA with the OM was not physical.
You have no idea she was so "relaxed" about her wedding vows, I am guessing. You confront her about OM and she has no problem admitting it. Then has the nerve to apologize for "hurting your feelings"? She isn't sorry she has been unfaithful, and I would say that it is a lot more than just hurting your feelings. But hey, I guess it was nice of her not to blame you for anything, and to warn you she may not be cut out for strict monogamy. Kind of late, however.
Look, she has been having an affair with the man for three yrs. You turned a blind eye to it. And you still want to believe your situation isn't that serious. Trust me, it is as serious as it gets. If you had told her you thought she was having a PA, she might have no problem admitting to it, also. Her telling you she may not be cut out for monogamy, is her PREPARING you for the extent of the truth, whenever you find out.
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I think our M is still pretty good; we talk a lot, have very regular sex and still manage to make time for us. On top of that, OM lives in a different country, so it would be very difficult for her to go to him and keep our S4. But I am feeling hurt, betrayed, and jealous.
Yet they meet in various locations. Sorry, but you do not have a pretty good M. She's just been good at deceiving you. You should feel what you are feeling. You have been betrayed!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
