One step at a time, buddy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All is fine with the current agreement, except custody.
Ask your L if the custody issue remains unsolved, would the other sections be unaffected if it were to go to the judge? Meaning that you and W have ALREADY agreed to the financials and assets so that should not be a problem for the judge. The only area of contention is "primary custody" which is what the judge will be focusing on.
If she agrees to redo an uncontested D, then all will be fine and we can both have joint custody and keep our financials separate.
If we cannot meet an uncontested D then we go to court. This is where we argue our sides and the threat to my financials happens because the judge will set what they think is equitable. (she gets some of my investments and I get some of her debt)
See above. I think if you and W already agreed and hashed out the financials, then the judge wouldn't mess with it. Don't the lawyers state in the briefs the areas of "disagreement" and areas of "agreement" so the judge knows where the parties stand? I'd ask your L those questions now before having any further talks with W. You need more information from L on this.
I am trying to keep us communicating and working together and keep this away from the judge making decisions in our lives.
We can switch L or go through hers, I don't care, I just want to protect my right to my kids and my financials.
I wouldn't even go there for it shows desperation on your part. Stick with your L for he has your BEST interests at heart and will fight for them.