Maybell, Our issues with our spouse obviously don't magically disappear just because we are S/D (even though they seem to think that's what will happen!) I struggle with this A LOT-- trying to improve communication with someone while not being in a loving R with them, but having such an important job as child - rearing to do together. So so tough.
As we grow, we can use these interactions to test out changes in our own communication skills. .. that is all we can control after all. And in some ways, if we detach, the stakes are not so high. They are already gone, so it's not like we have to be afraid of that anymore.
You can't change or control him. But what about this CAN you change? I wonder if trying out some other responses when he says, "I don't want to fight" could be worth a try? Just to experiment?
