I'm reading Men in Midlife Crisis by Conway at the moment. Reading helped me a lot in the early days after BD. But for some reason I haven't read anything 'self help' for a few months. I have a list of books - mostly mentioned on the forum I want to have a look at. I think His Needs, Her Needs will be next.

The Conway book is interesting, and it helps me to think of H more lovingly. I have become more detached as time goes on. But that hasn't always been a loving detachment.

H & I haven't been in touch for a few weeks. Not even by text. But I may do what I did at Xmas and send him and SS a 'light' Valentines text jointly. For us, as SS was often with us at Valentines, it was more of a family 'feel the love' day. At Xmas, I got a response from them both - then a present, card and HNY text from H - so I think it did more good than harm.

Any thoughts on doing this? I feel that to do nothing would be a bit churlish but I don't want to pursue inappropriately when he may still be in an A ( I have no idea of the status ATM.)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus