Card29 X - Let It Be

[Card29]

Thanks for updating me on you, Moz. I've been a bad friend! Haha

I don't know if sis's friend actually left her ex for another guy, it's just my hunch given what I've learned and observed over the last 8 months. The only way her story veers from the normal WAW script is that she wasn't married, and she had been pressing the issue with her ex for 2 years that she wanted to get married, that she would eventually leave if he didn't propose. At least that's the story I heard from my sis, who is rooting for "us". I'm sure there are two sides to the tale. And I'm sure her friend will have some doubt, withdrawals, and miss her ex at some point. I guess I'm thankful I'm not with her when that happens. I don't think she's a bad person just as I don't think my WAW is a bad person. My mild EA 2 years ago taught me that anyone is capable of an A. If things went differently with that woman (she moved out of state), who knows, it could have progressed to a fullblown PA, with me as a WAH. Maybe Mrs. Card29 would have been on DB.com instead!

Other girls? Not really. On the guy's ski trip, we talked a big game about flirting with girls and ended up getting drunk in our condo most nights. It was fun, anyway! Besides, if you were serious about trying to meet a girl (I wasn't) it was slim pickings up on the mountain at night. Every bar was 95/5 ratio of guys to girls, and the girls were typically with a guy.

I have agreed to flirt with a local "rockstar", a woman in an up-and-coming band from our town. My ex-boss kind of knows her and has been encouraging me to go to her favorite hangout and flirt with her before they go on tour this spring. I am actually planning on doing it, but without any intention or expectation of anything happening, just to give my friend the satisfaction. He's married and this girl is openly his "celebrity crush". She is way out of my league (fame more than looks). I figure if I can attempt to flirt with her, why would I be nervous about anyone else??

Like I said, I don't plan on actually pursuing a real date until things are officially moving forward with WAW. Right now my feelings about WAW are still ILYBNILWY, but I'm more open to the idea of working on it with her IF she expressed genuine interest. I'm not going to pursue her anymore. And if the limbo continues for a while, at some point in going to kick the ball downhill myself.

Regarding porn, I'm studying now more from an addiction standpoint than I had before. I never thought it was an actual addiction as I thought hardcore drugs and excessive alcohol deserved that title. But it is really an addiction in everyway. Recovery styles and paths are similar, and the threat of a relapse lasts just as long as a drug relapse. Maybe it's not as damaging to my life as heroin would be, but it is still damaging and deserves no place in my life. One encouraging thing I've read from a porn recovery expert is that a short relapse doesn't erase progress you've made. Of course that's not meant to give you a license to sample it now and again.