I realize my situation is not as dire as some on this site . . .
Not to be overly negative, Kieran, but I'd say it's pretty dire. You're making the very common mistake of equating your marital situation's seriousness by how "nice" (or not) she is being to you. The only reason she's being nice is because she seems to think you will tolerate the open marriage, at least if she can convince you their affair isn't yet physical.
You do realize that, to a woman, the long-term EA is the far more entrenched, more-difficult one to break, right? Moreso than a PA?
