WAW affair admitted 2

[Ontheup]

to be honest im not comfortable leaving but I don't know what else I can do. My wife will leave if I stay.

Although affair only exposed a month ago BD was 6 months ago when she basically said "we're done". For my own sanity im struggling to continue with this situation


Just found this advice over at MB who general stance is do not leave marital home

Since most men I've counseled are more emotionally and physically resilient than women to the extreme stress that being the victim of an affair creates, I encourage men to fight for their marriage much longer than I would encourage women. What that means is that they are to try to remain in Plan A as long as possible, avoiding Love Busters, and doing what they can to meet her emotional needs. They do that while still living together.

If the husband gets to a point where he cannot take the stress any longer, and must go into plan B, I encourage him to leave the home rather than kicking her out. This strategy is designed to demonstrate his care for her even under the adverse conditions of her betrayal. Since most affairs die a natural death soon after exposure, when she decides to give her marriage a chance to succeed, she remembers his thoughtfulness at a time that he could have been vengeful.

Granted, everything in a husband would encourage him to do the opposite. He wants to punish her for what she did, and let her stew in her own juices. But upon returning, which commonly happens even when a husband acts with vengeance (affairs almost always die a natural death even when the husband acts like a jerk), she will remember the vengeful acts far into the future, making a full recovery much more difficult.

When an unfaithful wife tells a husband to leave, I encourage him to stay as long as he can tolerate the stress. If she decides to leave on her own, I encourage him to let her go. The issue at hand is about kicking her out versus not kicking her out and I strongly recommend not kicking her out.