Masterpiece...

[Jer2911]

So I'm spending so much of my time in prayer, meditation, and reading, reading, reading!... And as a result, I think I'm starting to realize something...

First point: Yesterday in a conversation with my MIL she said "You've been given this time to focus on you and to work through what you need to work through... continue to give W and your marriage to God to work on..." And I stopped her and said "Are you reading the same forums that I'm reading right now? You have quoted nearly identically from some of the things I am reading!" We had a good laugh about that...

Second point: I've been so stressed out about this job situation and constantly trying to figure out why God is keeping me in this sitch (stich meaning: having to live at home with MLCer W who seems to hate me right now) instead of allowing me to find a suitable job that will allow me to support myself and move out... And then, as I was doing some of my reading this morning -- specifically about the LBS journey, time, self-focus, growth, and trusting God, etc. -- It dawned on me: God is giving me this time to do all of this reading and reflection so I can grow... I have a LOT of free time right now (working part-time from home) and I am using it to meditate, pray, read, go to IC, do things for myself, go to breakfast and lunch with friends, etc. -- to basically GAL, 180, and work on having a PMA while I embark on my own journey/growth process. I know I am only at the beginning of my journey/growth process -- but if I were to go back into a full-time work sitch right now I would not have this time to absorb so much reading material, to spend quiet time with myself, to journal, to spend time in communion with God, and to begin to understand how and where I need to grow and mature in my understanding of life, love, commitment, forgiveness, parenting, partnering, etc.

Feel like I had a small breakthrough this morning in my understanding...

Now time to head out to get a haircut (something else good for myself) and then back home to get some work done this afternoon.

Working on my masterpiece... :-)