Seperated and she is with someone - I'm desperate

[vdubber]

sorta broke my NC rule this morning but only to text W to inform her that our S9 was not feeling well today so I kept him home from school. I debated but felt i should let her know, maybe this was wrong? as i have kids until Monday so he'd certainly be feeling better before then. idk. i kept it on point and just about him.

Still reading DB book but my motivation seems to be dwindling as I'm starting to feel there is no chance of her wanting a future together. I will still go through it as I know it's about getting me in a healthy place and I very much need to.

After work yesterday picked S9 and D7 up from daycare and my daughter was just finishing a valentines card. it was to both my W and I. I told her it was great and that she should give it to her mom later this week as she would like it. She said it's for both of you and Dad I wish you and Mom lived together. I just said don't worry about anything, we both love you very much...and we left and didn't talk about it any more.

It breaks my heart to not all be a family together every day. Nothing is more important to me than family and I will do my very best to always make my kids feel special and loved. I see my IC again tomorrow which is good as it's only been 5 days so far but feels like it's been longer.