Card29 X - Let It Be

[Card29]

In my head, yes, but not making any advances. I stopped trying to meet up with sis's friend for now. When I started thinking about her and her previous R from a DB perspective, I figured she was already dating someone, that she basically left her ex for another guy. I confirmed with my sister today that she has been dating a guy for a "few weeks". It's a load off my mind, really. Now I know she's not even available at the moment, so no more wondering or trying to fight off temptations to ask her out per the advice of uR and others. Also, if I really want to find a long term relationship someday, dating someone a couple weeks after a long-term R break-up is not the way to start it. So if it's going to happen someday with her, maybe she needs this R. Whatever it leads to, I know that if it was me dating her right now, odds are it wouldn't have lasted. My sister still wants us to be together someday, so I'm sure she'll let me know if she's available down the road. I'm moving on now, though.

Other than that, nothing. My FB profile still says "Married" and we haven't even filed for D yet. No D talks since December. I'm not asking anyone out until we are at least officially going down that route. If I get to the point where I really want to start going on dates, maybe that's the point where I move things forward with WAW? But I'm not there yet. Here is my plate for the next 1-2 months, no room on it for a girl:

- Continue to train and learn in my new job
- About to mourn the loss (to another loving home, at least) of one of my pups
- Find an apartment and move into it
- Continue rehabing a wrist injury as well as a heel injury
- Make several repairs at my mom's house before I move out
- Get back to my 180 list, truly for my benefit. I thought I was over porn completely but had a backslide after I stopped with my anti-porn program a few weeks ago. I don't want that to become a habit again so it's time to recommit with the realization that I am probably at least a year if not 2 years away from not needing a constant commitment.

180 success report: My NMMNG campaign has been progressing. I'm starting to decipher my feelings and desires more timely, allowing me to react the way I want to react. I'm no longer obsessed about what women think about it, a common MNG characteristic . As an example, I used to visit D2 (at the time, D1) at daycare and I'd want to play with her in front of women working at the daycare so they would think I was a good dad. Pathetic, right? I still love visiting her, but now I don't care who knows I'm there. I'm not really doing anything differently with her, I still play with her wherever her and I feel like, I just don't care who is looking. Just a change within myself.