wife during deployment EA/PA continued.

[Train]

Yes. The sh!t that comes out of their mouths is absolutely asinine.

If it helps, Rysin, my H - who has been home about 10 months - talks to this day about the things he said to justify his actions/behavior while he was wayward. We were in a discussion about it just this past weekend. It's like he now sees the same "alien abduction" that I did while he was wayward. He just doesn't even understand how he was "there" now. But he consistently says that he said everything he did to make himself look better and more justified ... because he KNEW, even then, that he was completely in the wrong.

You're smart not to accept the blame W throws on you right now while she's in this mode. If she ever blames you for something and it STINGS you, *then* you'll know there's some merit to her complaint. Otherwise, let it be like water on a duck's back. She knows what she's doing, and she's simply trying to deflect blame. Anyone who knows she's in an A also knows exactly what she's doing. She's fooling no one ... not even herself.

And let me just put it out there re: Valentine's Day ...

If you are mysteriously absent from your W that day, she's going to notice. It'll send a much stronger - and more effective message - than any chocolate-covered cherry or vase of roses. Keep plugging away, and don't expect "results" overnight, okay? Marathon. Not a sprint. You're doing great.