Starsky, it's GREAT to see you in my thread, a very welcome addition!!
You guys see change and growth in me that I don't see. "Grown so much"? Really? I certainly don't feel like the butterfly I'd hope to be by now or through this experience.
Still so far to go and I'm weary.
Had a good session with IC. Basically talked about my denial and that I still have this little glimmer of hope despite 18 years of lacking passion, severe resentment, pain, escorts, oppressive negativity. I'm no Pollyanna but man, I seem to be in this case. She basically said that the work required to rebuild this marriage into something it never was before would take incredible work on both our parts and that it's so far gone, stbx sees it as easier to just close the book. I don't think she said that as a way to get me to stop trying, it's just her professional opinion. She's been doing this for 30 years, is very pro marriage and has seen some marriages turn around from the depths of divorce.
I need to wave the white flag and just tell stbx that divorce is fine. Fine. It started with a HUGE "YES" and is ending with a "fine". I guess it's better than an, "EFF YOU", right? There's the Pollyanna again.
