No, I won't be saddled with anything. Neither will he, since neither of us can run this place alone, financially or otherwise.
We will lose the house, the animals, and all of it. He doesn't seem to get that yet, but it's the truth. The only reason he'd think that wasn't going to happen was because he'd either never divorce me and keep me in "separated limbo", or hopefully divorce me but keep me living here.
I know I matter, that's why I don't want to be around people who tell me through their actions that they don't really respect or value me. He is one of those. He is too concerned with himself and his own issues, and they clearly come first.
He acts like the victim, and it's repulsive to me.
So---No worries about me!
As for dating him, the red flags are waving high and bright! I wish I'd seen them 30 years ago. Not on your life would I date him. There is nothing to like. He is like a shell of a person. He "acts" nice, but it really seems like an act. Sad. Really sad.
And I don't think any other woman would either the way he is now, unless she was a total mess of a person. And I guess there are plenty of those around.
At least when I met him, he was cute.
The fact is, I'm doing so much better on my own that I have with him in many years. My social life is very full, I have more invitations than I care to accept. I have been doing new things and meeting interesting people all the time. I am networking and following up on jobs and housing. I am planning my future WITHOUT HIM.
No doubt he feels this, and is stepping up his game.
I remember Labug saying, "If you're friendly with him, how does that give him an incentive to change?" (Paraphrasing). I insisted on more contact because he seemed to "like" that.
Well, I now must say that they were right and I was wrong. (Isn't this always what happens?)
He just took advantage of my kindness and openness, and changed NOTHING. They were right. Why should he? He has just what he wants, short of me inviting him to come back and we'll pretend none of this nastiness ever occurred.
I'll just blindly trust him again, still be loyal, still be who I was.
Well, that woman is long gone.
In her place is someone smarter, stronger, wiser, and more skilled in identifying and deflecting the actions of manipulative and dishonest people.
What a lesson to learn, but learn I have.
I can never go back to how I was before. I'm IMPROVED and I LIKE it.
If he doesn't, oh well. That's at least one good thing he gave me. A hell of an experience.
