I'm not Starsky, but I'll take a stab at your question. In this moment in time you have to keep in mind that you are not even a blip on your W's emotional radar. You could be doing back flips whilst drinking a glass of water and it still would have made no difference. 0, nada, zilch. Even if you are the friendliest little puppy that ever lived, you have 0 chance of success, because in her eyes romantically you DO NOT EXIST. YOU CANNOT NICE YOUR W BACK!!! We all have tried it, against the advice of the vets and we all have failed.
Have you read DB? Honestly?
The ONLY way to get her back is to go against what seems logical. I am sure your logical mind is telling you to be extra nice to her, to do stuff for her and the fog will lift she will snap out of it and fall madly in love with you again. Nope, ain't happening. In her mind you had your chance and you blew it.
The only way is to let her go. She might come back, she might not. She has a journey to complete and so do you. And the sooner you get on with it, the sooner you will start living again. I am sure you will agree with me that this limbo you are in now is not a life by a long shot, not even close. In fact I am sure you sometimes would rather not exist at all than to endure all this pain. You have to grow for YOU, you have to put YOURSELF first, you have to get the focus of HER and onto YOU. You cannot help her. You can start your journey and she will follow, but do not wait for her to start following you.
I'm sure you are thinking that you are different, your W is different, you can nice her back... Try if you must, but the odds are heavily against you.
Detach for your own sanity, GAL, make that W of yours wonder why the hell are you not miserable, why the hell you are not crying your eyes out and pleading her to return. Go, live your life for you. I am sure you have your stuff on the back burner that you want to do. Well guess what, now you just got the time do do it.
Well I *am* Starsky, and I wouldn't change a WORD of that! Awesome (albeit tough) advice.
