I haven't deserted you. I've been out of the office, and my laptop at home crashed. It's been nuts around here.
This is quick because it's still nuts.
But just want to chime in. First of all, I don't think your e-mail was out of line. Your H conveniently uses excuses to manipulate people and situations to benefit him. This will probably harm him long term, but it hurts you and the kids in the interim.
I have to say, I think I'd go for full custody of those kids. I hope you're documenting all of his excuses? And I'd also ask for child support commensurate with being the custodial parent with little parenting relief (maybe set it up for 1 day out of 14?). That way, *you* can hire a sitter when you need one, let him pay for it, and offer him a few days here and there when it suits you and the kids' schedules. Understand this one, sweetie. You've already been doing this. Your parenting time has very little structure and commitment to routine. So I'm afraid that I'd have to go for a routine that best suits the rest of the family.
My business partner has a saying that is 100% true and it's constantly running through the back of my mind; it applies to you as well:
The needs of many outweigh the needs of a few or one.
In your case, the "many" are your kids and you; the one is your H. The needs of your family unit need to take center stage. If he's not helping the cause, he's hurting it.
This is kind of the "penalty" I think raliced was thinking. Instead of trying to go get money after the fact, set it up so that you get it up front, and can revise it down the road if he has a more predictable schedule. My guess is all of a sudden, he'll find the consistency. If not? Then you acknowledge the job you're already doing and get compensation for having a complete a*hole for a WAH.
Sorry too.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
