So I am divorced.

[mahhhty]

Thanks Little!
Lost - I think you are right! I definitely struggle & sometimes talk myself in circles.

Just had an email exchange about Easter weekend with the STBX. I am looking for some help in my communication with her. I am trying to validate and to not fix all problems and not try to take away her voice, but she is really pushing for control over all situations at all times. I am starting to think my kindness is seen as a weakness that she believes she can bully me into submission.

First email from STBX: "I keep forgetting to send this over...the only sticky week, like I was telling you, is the last week of March where I have an event at the beginning of the week and on top of that Easter is the following weekend. The paperwork says I have the kids on Easter for odd years. I think you either have that Friday or Monday off, I can't remember?"

My response: "STBX,
After the last couple 1 night stands, I don’t think those are great for the kids. I think we should give them more stability. The first and second week in April I would like to change, so that there aren’t any 1 night instances. The easiest way I see to do this is to trade days 4/2 & 4/3 with 4/6 & 4/7, as well as, you keeping them Saturday and I will pick them up in the morning (8-9) on Sunday. I am open to other suggestions as well. My holiday is Friday.

The attachment shows what you identified on the left and what I am suggesting on the right.

Thanks."

Her Response: "Hi. That is fine, but I would like them until 2:00pm on Easter. Attached is the revised version."

My Response: "I am not interested in seeing them less. Please propose something else. Or go back to the original schedule."

Hers: "I was already for-fitting time because of my work trip at the beginning of the week? In the parenting plan, the kids are with me for Easter morning. If you compare days in this three week period, you have them much more than I do. So it is very upsetting that you are coming after me for wanting to spend 5 hours with them on Easter."

Mine: "I don’t understand the question in the first sentence. Let me know if you would like me to address something there.

I am sorry that you feel as if I am “coming after you.” As I am the one who brought forth the alteration to your schedule, it isn’t clear me why you would feel that way. My motivation was for the children only.

I understand that you believe the Parenting Plan should take precedence. Thats fine, please resume the original schedule you came up with.

Comparing any 3 weeks isn’t a valid comparison and will always be skewed, as we have a two week rotating schedule. It will only be equal or approximately equal every 2, 4, 6 (even) number of weeks. To illustrate I took a normal three week period and attached it."