Tell her that since she is capable of returning to work and still be gone half the night that it is time for her to decide?
No, that is an ULTIMATUM, not a BOUNDARY. Do you know the difference?
An ultimatum tells someone else what THEY need to do . . . or else.
A boundary tells someone else what you YOURSELF are going to allow in your life.
At a MINIMUM, you need to set an internal deadline of how long you are willing to stand for your marriage. Whether that's 3 months or 6 or one year, I don't think it's healthy for it to be "indefinitely," because then you are truly allowing yourself to live in an open marriage. And I also advise people to NEVER communicate any specific deadline to a wayward spouse -- only that "I won't wait forever." Otherwise, if you give them, say, 60 days they will take that as your tacit approval to carry on their affair for the next 59 days, at which point they will promise you the moon and the stars to take them back, or tell you that they "need more time," etc.
