Doing the limbo thing (thread #8)

[shodan]

Update on the last two weeks...I have been traveling a ton for my job so I have not been home that much. I also decided to go back to martial arts two times per week. I have great friends there and really enjoy the camaraderie. My focus on work, yoga, cross fit, martial arts and my kids has been very helpful in the GAL/detachment area.

Things with my W show slow improvement. I am 99.99% sure she is done with the A. Yet, we definitely back tracked from where we were in November...lots of sex, intimacy,etc. in November but things slowed down considerably in Dec/Jan. We talked about it and my W said she is waiting for her feelings to come back. I validated what she had to say and also offered up some advice from everything that I have read and heard on this forum...specifically, actions need to proceed the emotions. This is one case where logic (I want my M to work) precedes emotion (I love my H). I explained to her that by doing loving things, love will build over time. But it will not be an easy fix.

My W said that she is trying and realizes that I may not be here if and when she feels that love for me again. She tells me again and again that I am a great person and a great catch. She compliments me a good amount, will tell me that I am sexy, etc. but just seems to struggle with that last piece...real intimacy.

Ironically, we had a great weekend this past weekend. Probably the best weekend since before the BD. We did not spend a lot of time together as a couple, but we did a lot as a family. I did some of my own stuff, my W did the same, but we appeared to have the same connection that we had before the BD (without the sex).

I realizes that my best course of action is to continue to focus more on me and to put NO pressure on her. I feel better and better that I will be 100% OK if this M does not work out. But, I really feel for my kids. They do not deserve this.