So starsky....you're saying file? I know it is my choice or life...but I am asking pros for a reason.
No, I'm not saying that. Where did I say that?
It's not the use of force that governs the world. It's the credible threat of force that does. If your wife doesn't credibly fear that it's at least an OPTION for you, she will almost certainly not change the path she is on.
Let me put it this way: does she know that something (say, not being willing to live in an open marriage) is a non-negotiable core boundary for you? Do YOU even know what your non-negotiable core boundaries are?
Look, I'm not trying to bust your balls here . . . you are actually a lot like me. I too am a classic fixer/pleaser/"Mr. Nice Guy" type, believe it or not. But until you go thru something like this and really dig deep, and figure out "What ARE my core boundaries? What is my authentic true self? What things am I simply not willing to abide in my life?" . . . it's tough stuff.
No one would ever, say, continue to live with someone who cuts them with razor blades every day. But yet many continue to put up with unrepentant infidelity, or maybe even lesser forms of physical or emotional abuse than my ridiculous "razor blades" example. In other words, WE ALL DRAW OUR NON-NEGOTIABLE BOUNDARY LINES *SOMEWHERE*.
Take this time to figure out where you draw yours . . . and then learn to communicate them -- and more importantly, enforce them -- with your wayward wife.
