Just realised wife of 12 years is having a MLC

[Detrmnd]

Also am I correct to not respond or confront? I mean I know she is lying to me, it seems she is lying to herself about this as well but right now I find it almost impossible to judge. I am moving forwards with dealing with my own issues and start therapy on the 19th, at the moment it feels like she thinks she is being nice and trying to let me down slowly. We went out a couple of times last week for non-emotional dates and spent time together. They were to new places and new things, she seemed to really enjoy.

At the moment I am so devastated knowing she is having this affair, and it just hurts so much. It seems unbelievable that after all of the conversations of the last ten days she is lying to me about an affair of which I know about every meeting. So why is she lying to me about the emotional element? Why not say it's over, I'm in love with someone else and he loves me. Is she just scared I'll kick her out site the affair and keep the kids? Or is it a sign that deep down somewhere she has hope? I have no ideas and just feel totally lost...

Please all help gratefully received.