It doesn't matter how he feels about the kids. My WAW does her 50%, but seems to treat the kids like a task, not like people. She cares for them, keeps them alive, but she doesn't do any weekend activities (D6 told me they spend the entire time in the apartment) and on weeknights she only gets them from school to bed with pit stops at the table and bath. Not my problem: the kids need to see her. And it's her relationship with them. On my end, I try to make the week as special as possible and I reap the benefits in gratitude, love and attachment.
I agree with the suggestion to have a default day (permanent, not just this month) and if he wants to change, he needs your permission or to arrange something. I'd go more with jim0987's suggestion to just state what it is and not go into explanations. "For stability, let's agree on a set day every week. I suggest Mondays." Short works best. Paging Wonka!
Oh, his work doesn't allow such a thing? Tough luck. He's also a dad. It's a consequence of his past choices. If you follow my sitch, you know I've been clear with my WAW last week about the fact that she's living with the consequences of her choices and so am I. If he didn't want to be a dad, he had to think about it 12 years ago.
(Just me, but I'm surprised that he has them only one day a week. I can't recall how you agreed to this, but do you say yes to whatever he offers? Like you're the default caregiver and he can pick and choose wht he feels like doing? As I wrote, I told my WAW: "The kids need you" and that was the end of it. 50/50 it is.)
I find it very interesting that he's such a slacker at home and an overachiever at work. I'll think about it. You should also think about how these people get so much out of him and you get so little. How do they react when he fails them?
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
