My main concern with your approach is that I don't believe that most people can "hold out" for more than 6-12 months, and many can't hold out for more than 3-6. I am especially concerned about men, because it can be especially emasculating and humiliating for us, and many of them never recover fully.
For the record, my fast-track approach isn't "end it or else." That is an ultimatum, and it's controlling. I advocate that the betrayed spouse make it about THEM, and THEIR PERSONAL BOUNDARIES:
"I cannot live in an open marriage," (similar to Michelle's teachings about "I can no longer live in a sexless marriage") My approach with my wife was one of "I cannot control what you do; you are a grown adult woman, and you are free to make your own choices. All I can tell you is what I am willing to endure in my marriage, and this is a personal boundary with me. I love you, and I don't want a divorce, and I hope you'll end it very soon and come back and work on our marraige with me, at which point I think you will find me ready and willing to work on ANY AND ALL ISSUES. But please hurry, because my patience is not without its limits."
I do believe that DB teaches that a wayward spouse WILL be attracted back toward the marriage, when the betrayed spouse GALs and does some of the other techniques that MWD teaches. But MWD isn't anti-boundary, and she isn't pro-doormat or pro-cake-eating. And when a wayward spouse continues to get some of their emotional and physical needs met by their OM/OW, and some of their other physical, emotional and financial needs met by their spouse, with no boundaries and no consequences and no deadlines . . .
. . . then they have little, if any, reason to make a choice, in my experience.
Finally, I think there is an "added benefit" to this more aggressive approach, especially for men, in that it makes the betrayed husband more attractive to his wife. I believe that many of these women are WAITING for their husbands to fight for them, and for their marriages, and they lose respect for them every day that they don't (even as the wife pushes him away with her infidelity). Some formerly-wayward women have even come and posted as much on these very forums
